We sell Italian soda. And that's it.

Another winner for the Jessica Simpson award for stupidity...

(This took place last year while I worked at Second Cup - For those non-Canadians out there, a rather prominent and well known Canadian coffee chain)

Customer walks up to the counter.
Customer: "Do you sell coffee?"
I look around at all the coffee pots, coffee beans, coffee grinder, espresso machine and mugs.
Me: "No."



Don't trust anyone over 30

Today, a wrectched old woman came in to order a pizza. A co-worker of mine, who happens to be a teenager, served her. My co-worker informed her that we did not have whole wheat dough at this time, and this old bag got all pissy about it and asked to speak to the department manager. Of course, it's Sunday and the manager isn't in. She then asked for a name so that she could call and speak to her another time.

I can guarantee that if I, or one of my other co-workers who are older were serving this woman, she wouldn't have asked for the manager's name. I had jobs when I was younger, and I learned quickly that people don't trust you if you're below a certain age. Yes, my co-worker is fifteen, but she's worked there for over a year and knows what she's doing. She's not saying we're out of whole wheat dough just to be an ass. We don't have whole wheat dough. Nothing you say or do is going to magically make the dough appear, ready to use.

So to this old woman, I say nice job completely looking down upon and undermining my co-worker, who happens to be an excellent employee, just because she's a quarter of your age. It's not her fucking fault you aged poorly, you wretched old hag.


No, we keep all our luke-warm products in the freezer unit

And today's Jessica Simpson award for stupidity goes to that weird guy to whom I served gelato today.

Him: "What is this?"
Me: "It's gelato. It's Italian ice, which is like ice cream, only less fat and less sugar."
Him: (looks at gelato, which is sitting in a freezer unit) "Is it cold?"


FYI to whiny customers...

When you complain and act like a douche to your servers for not good reason, we do not sit in remorse, regretting whatever stupid thing we did that you have a problem with. We make fun of you. We call you names. We are mocking you behind your back. You will most likely become an inside joke to all the staff members.

And y'know how you sometimes ask to speak to the manager? Well, after the manager is finished kissing your ass, they don't proceed to discipline the employees; they mock you, too.

And y'know how you like to say those wonderous words "I'm never shopping here again!" Yeah, well, guess what? We don't want you to. We'd rather not have some angry old man running around the store. So please; just stay at home and yell at your TV.